Relationships - Is Money Causing Stress In Your Marriage?

Many couples find that finances are a major source of friction in their relationships. You may be like most couples in that you may never really discuss the financial issues of your life with one another except in a loud voice.

How do you feel about money? How does your spouse feel about money? What's a financial necessity and what is a luxury? How should money be handled and who should handle what? What are you and your wife/husband's long term financial goals? If most couples would take the time to get close and discuss money issues like these mentioned, they would have discovered that although they may have different ideas about saving and spending, perhaps they could have resolved these differences before they became too divisive to their relationship.

If relationships that fail due to money stressors are like yours, then take the time to sit together with bank statements, pencil, paper, calculator and draw up a workable budget that you both can agree with and can stick with. You may have to spend a few weeks jotting down what you each spend during the day so you can see where every penny goes. Most of us are aware of the big expenses, but it's the smaller ones (dry cleaning, drugstore items, food) that slip by but add up. Write down your fixed monthly expenses: rent or mortgage payments, health insurance, life insurance and car payments. At that point, you can then include expenses that are more flexible such as: entertainment, clothing, food, and so on. What expenses can you cut out or cut back?

If you have made a realistic budget, you should be able to put aside money for savings every month as well as have money for emergencies. Determine who is going to handle which payments and be sure to put some money into a personal spending account for each of you so you aren't obligated to consult each other on every minor expense. However, always discuss significant purchases or investments with your spouse/significant. If your family or job situation changes, you can always revise your budget and investment plans.

When discussing money, try to be business-like, and take the emotions out of it. Be sure to personal references such as I feel when you do and be sure to avoid blaming and labeling. – Calling your spouse a tightwad or saying that they spends money like a drunken sailor, for instance, is not conducive to cooperation.

Most important, no matter how tight money is, reserve a small amount for pleasure. Even if you go out once a week to a movie or for pizza, just the two of you, you'll feel better about your relationship in general if you indulge yourselves once and a while.