Relationships - What to Do If One of You Wants to Leave

Regardless of how long or short a loving, intimate relationship is, breaking up is never easy. If one of you wants to leave the relationship and the other does not, it can make things even more difficult in the end.

Everyone handles break ups differently, and the longer a relationship has lasted, the harder it may be for one partner or the other. Some people are devastated by a break up and feel they couldn't begin to live without their partner, while others are relieved and feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from their shoulders. Some people however, may get quite angry and even violent, and some may become extremely hateful and spiteful. You can choose how you will react to a breakup, but you cannot choose or control how your partner might react.

If you are the one who wants to leave the relationship, you may have a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings circling around inside of you. These feelings often include fear and anxiety. Some people worry about how their partner will get along after they've broken up with them, and others worry about whether their partner will go into a blind rage and do something drastic. There's almost always a small doubt as to whether you're doing the right thing.

If you've decided it's time to leave this relationship though, and you're certain this is what you want, then you shouldn't put it off. You need to sit your partner down face to face and talk to them. Explain outright that you're ready to leave the relationship. How much lead in and explaining you do is completely up to you, because each relationship is different. Don't dance around the topic though and expect your partner to pick up on hints and vibes. State outright that you want to leave.

If you're worried about how your partner will react when you tell them this news, then have a close friend or family member be there with you when you tell them, or tell them with a neutral third party present, such as a relationship counselor or minister.

If your partner is the one who wants to leave your relationship, you may feel devastated and lost. It can be quite a blow, particularly if you felt the relationship was a very good one. When your partner tells you they want to leave though, try to listen rationally and respond maturely.

It's ok to get angry or cry, and it's ok to ask them why. Your partner may choose to not answer the why question though, and it may be difficult but you need to try and respect that choice. If they do try and explain why however, you also need to try and listen quietly without defending yourself or your actions. Once they've finished saying what they have to say, you can then ask respectfully if you can address some of the issues they brought up.

It's also ok to suggest alternative measures if you really want the relationship to work too. You might for instance, ask if they're willing to try relationship counseling first.