Parents Who Are Sick…

I would like to thank Dorothy Stahlnecker of grammology.com for creating a moving post about her Mother.  Her feelings about her Mother are common among many of us who have aging parents.  As we age, we wish our parents, who mean so much to us, would not age also and as their lives draw to a close, we reflect our our relationship with them and how we feel about them.  We wish we had spent more time with them and listened to them more closely.   Thank you, Dorothy for sharing your feelings about your Mother with us.

Mother has  been our rock all our lives, anytime there was a family crisis mom was there.  It never mattered where or when we knew if we called she would come.

Over the years she has endured open heart surgery, leaving her with a pacemaker,   a breast cancer survivor and suffers from Lupus.  Recently mom fell and broke a rib, since the fall she has been in and out of the hospital.

None the less this woman has endured hospital after hospital visit.  Each time she is pricked, pinched, poked and prodded trying to make her well. I remember reading or hearing when an elderly person falls and breaks a bone it can often be the beginning of the end, Pneumonia or infection which often set in.…She hasn't gotten pneumonia; however, she did get MRSA the new (or old) just recently brought to our attention, antibiotic resistant infection, in her urinary tract.  

Now when we visit her we wear gloves and sometimes the caregivers even wear robes…  This glove and robe thing has been going on for over three weeks and my mom who is very savvy to health care has never asked or mentioned the gloves?  I wonder is it because she is so sick she doesn't care or is she unaware of what's going on around her.

My mom rarely speaks; and is so weak we give her fluids with a spoon.  She has beautiful blue eyes and my heart feels sad as I give her tea or ginger ale trying to keep her hydrated…  She will eat for a day and then go for days with no intake what so ever, due to the nausea and not eating she has lost a significant amount of weight.

What is going on behind those blue eyes…..?  I talk to her, she listens… I tease her about our life as mother and daughter.  How I always thought I was right and she was always wrong. She never says much but I can see her smiling with those blue eyes and I know she's listening…and I hope enjoying my simple chatter.

I dare not ask God how much longer she should suffer as none of us are ready to let her go.   It seems she goes one step forward and another backwards.  My mom is fighting to live. We can feel it. We are not sure if she's winning or just suffering.

I was the one who spent the least time with mom.  Living the furthest away and never taking the time to visit as often as I could have.  The rest of my family kept my mom in their daily lives …If there was a decision to be made.  My mom's opinion counted, it did for me as well.

So, we go to the hospital…  Stay by her side and pray.  Each day brings a new challenge; we try as a family to decide the best options for mom.  Each decision is made with love and thoughtfulness to ensure her quality of life. We don't know what her future holds.  However, we stand united.  Just the way she wanted us too.  With the hope that things will get better and she will come home. 

Dorothy from grammology
call your grandma
http://grammology.com