Relationships-How Much Do We Help Our Adult Children - 2

In part one of this miniseries on How Much Do We Help Our Adult Children, I told you about my family and described my son who will soon be 20 and how his view of work and mine vary markedly.

Let's continue with some of these differences in how the concept of making do, being patient and the struggle with building equity, putting money away in savings until one can afford to purchase items without going into debt doesn't appear to a concept that some adult children want to embrace. A major problem with young adults is that they have access to credit cards. They are constantly being bombarded (as we all are) with credit card offers without thinking through all of the consequences and responsibilities of having one or using one.

I had a young man relate to me of how when he first got his credit card, he really had no concept that he had to pay the money borrowed from the credit card company back to them. He kept getting the bills but thought they were just more offers and he didn't open them to see that they really wanted to get paid. He is 30 years old and still trying to climb out of that deep pit he dug for himself almost 10 years ago.

I am not saying that one shouldn't help their adult children with actual emergencies but they need to know that the money given them is not a gift (unless you tell them it is) but rather a loan and that you expect to be paid back and set a reasonable time to do so.

In part 3, we will start to set the guidelines of whether to bail out our adult children or should we make them stand on their own two feet.

Please remember that I love my children and don't want to see them hurt in any way but that there comes a time when they have to take responsibility for their actions and debts.