Relationships – Aging Parents – Watching the Neighbors

Today is a sad day for our neighborhood although few people noticed. Our neighbors across the street, Art and Virginia probably won't be coming home again. I noticed the "boys", Art and Virginia's son's loading boxes into their SUV's. The "boys" are all in the 50's with the middle son being my age. I asked Doug what was happening and he explained.

They were moving Virginia, who is in her late 80's into an assisted living facility. Art was in the hospital with heart problems and would probably join her when he got out of the hospital. Art is in mid 90's and has been active up until this last month.

We moved into the neighborhood over 18 years ago and we bought Art and Virginia's close friends house. They have been nothing but gracious and helpful to us since that day and we have always appreciated them. We got to know Doug as he is very outgoing and he would tell us about growing up in the neighborhood and how each family interacted with the others. Over the years as the original homeowners sold their houses, we have had new neighbors come and go but Art and Virginia were always there.

Dale and I stopped at the hospital and saw Art yesterday. Virginia was there by his side and it felt different as he had always taken care of Virginia during her health issues. He seemed in good cheer but it was sad as I may not see him at home again unless it is to show the "boys" what things to take with them and which things to leave.

My point in this tale is that I didn't have to go through what many of you are going through with your aging parents. My parents died relatively young with Mom having cancer and dying at 57 and Dad dying in a car wreck at 67. Watching Mom suffer for years and especially the last year was difficult and Dad went so quickly.

While you have your parents with you, cherish them, talk with them and as I watched the "boys" do with their parents, care for them. Planning seems to be the key as they had tried to address their concerns with Art and Virginia for several years. Now they are in a reaction mode by trying to find a good place for Virginia in an assisted living facility to wait for Art to come home.