Relationships-How to Bond with Older Grandchildren

It's easy to bond with younger grandchildren, especially if you live near by. Whether you spend time reading books together, playing games, or just cuddling while watching a movie, it's usually pretty effortless.

However, as the child grows – especially as he or she hits those pre-teenage ("'tween") years and teenage years – the gap between you and them can widen. With this time of their life comes all the changes and angst those years are known for. As pre-teenagers and teenagers struggle to figure their lives out, they can get pretty self-centered.

Sometimes that leaves you feeling a little left out. You may even feel hurt if you get the sense that your grandchild is avoiding you or doesn't seem interested in visiting with you.

Indeed, sometimes you may get the feeling that your grandchildren are bored when you spend time together. You may see them chat on their cell phone for hours with their friends, but you can just tell that spending even a few minutes visiting with you is not exactly on the top of their list of fun things to do.

The best thing you can do is allow your teenager to introduce you to their world. Spend some time watching the TV shows and movies they enjoy. Listen to the music they like. Pay attention to what they're reading and what they're doing on the computer. Just doing these things will help you bridge that gap and learn to speak their "language."

Then you can take it a step further start doing some of the activities your grandchild enjoys. For example, one activity you can share with your grandchildren is playing their favorite video games. If you're not as mobile as you used to be, bonding over a video game is a lot less taxing then other more-active games or sports. And certainly it's a lot less dangerous to pick up a game controller as opposed to jumping on a skateboard!

Your grandchild will be flattered that you took an interest, and he or she will likely be excited to "show off" a little. Plus kids who are skilled at video games enjoy explaining the game and teaching others how to play. Just like adults, children get a sense of importance when they know how to do something that others around them don't know how to do.

Even if you know you'll fumble and with the controls and not do very well with the game, go ahead and try your hand at it anyway. The laughter you'll share with your grandchild will be priceless.

And the best part? This is exactly the sort of thing that will also get your grandchild to open up and start sharing more of his or her life. That means you can say goodbye to strained conversations and awkward silences. Getting a grandchild to open up can be as simple as you getting involved in positive ways.