Relationships-What Are The Differences Between Men & Women's Insecurities

In most cases, men typically assume that once a women is content with the relationship, she will and should stay that way. He thinks once he has proven his love for her, then she should know it forever. She should feel secure with him, regardless of what happens, without ever needing to be reassured or reminded that he loves her. This view is different from how women really thinks but from the male point of view, this attitude makes perfect sense.

This is when trouble sets in because women find this attitude absolutely unacceptable as it is inconsistent with the way they think. Like all people who want to be and feel loved, a woman need to be reassured that she is special, that she is worthy, understandable, and of course lovable. This is no different for men as they also need to be reassured, but they get encouragement mainly through their work. Women, however, primarily need reassurance through the relationships they are in.

When a man's work fails, he begins to doubt his self-worth. In a similar way, when a women is ignored by her husband, she begins to doubt her self-worth. She needs constant supply of verbal signs, symbols, and ongoing reassurance from him that he loves and cherishes her.

If a man is in a relationship, he doesn't worry about rejection unless it actually happens. He does not consciously feel a need to be reassured because his successes in the world in which he works gives him that reassurance. So as a result, he doesn't readily respect a women's continuous need to be reassured.

His reasoning goes something like this: "Even though I am preoccupied with my career these days, my wife should already know that I love her today, tomorrow, and all the rest of our lives, unless I tell her differently." To a women this is just as absurd as the following comments would be to a man: "Even though my husband is broke and out of work, he should that he will be rich again, because he was rich at one time before the business went bankrupt" or "Although he came in last today, he should know he's a winner because at one time he did win this major yearly tennis tournament.

A man's failures constantly challenge him to realize his worth independent of his successes, but it is equally true that as he follows his failures with increasing success, his sense of self-worth is strengthened so aAs he begins to succeed, his confidence grows. Through a series of setbacks, the man who is able to try again strengthens his self-esteem.

A women's self worth is challenged when her partner withdraws from her. This painful experience is a time to center herself and realize her worth independent of his love but it is equally important that her feelings of insecurity are followed by reassurance and support from her partner.