Relationships-How to Switch Roles From a Child to Your Parent Into Being a Caregiver for Them

A natural process in life that's happening more and more frequently these days, is adult children taking over the role of caregiver for their aging parents. Since many people are living to much older ages than they used to, the rate of senior citizens in the United States is expected to double by the year 2030.

Because seniors are living much longer, healthier lives, the roles of children and parents reverse as time goes on. Children who were once cared for by their parents, gradually morph into the role of caring for their parents instead. And changing from the role of child to being parental towards your own parents can seem strange, but it often happens gradually enough to feel perfectly natural.

There are some adjustments that need to happen as the roles reverse though. Parents have a particularly difficult time with the idea of their own children not just caring for them, but making decisions for them and sometimes even telling them what to do. If the process happens too suddenly, it can cause a great deal of stress and disharmony within the entire family.

Because of this, it's very important not to make any sudden, drastic changes in your or your parent's lives. Trying to suddenly change from being a child to being the parent of your own parents simply creates problems. It can create major rifts and family squabbles too, so it's very important for the overall harmony of the entire family to take things slow.

Don't suddenly decide for instance, that your parents should live with you. Many adult children jump to this decision after a major crisis has happened with their elderly parent. Mom falls and breaks her hip for instance, or dad needed emergency medical care and no one was there for him. When major shocking or frightening events of this sort happen, some adult children will impulsively decide that Mom or Dad should move in with them. Making this decision without thinking it through fully though, can be a cause of added stress, strain, or problems in the future.

You need to fully evaluate your own strengths and weaknesses first. If for instance, you're away on business two weeks out of each month, you may not be the best person to provide primary care for your aging parents.

You also need to discuss any major changes with your parents themselves. Many aging parents want to keep their independence, and that independence is part of what keeps them healthy and active for so long in their lives too. So taking it away from them may end up being one of the worst things you can do for them.

Be sure to listen to your parents and respect their thoughts, opinions and feelings too. Aging is sometimes difficult for some parents accept and adapt to gracefully, so most changes will need to be introduced as a suggestion, gently and gracefully, then discussed over time so they'll have a chance to start getting used to the idea.

If your parents are still fairly healthy and active, try to simply be supportive of them, and be there for them in times of need. You might suggest community activities and services for instance, or if they continue to insist on living alone as they age, ask if you can hire someone to come in and help out with chores such as cleaning, laundry and cooking.

Start with small, gradual changes and as time goes on, you and your parents will become much more comfortable with the role reversals that happen as they age.