Why Is It That Men And Women Have a Hard Time Communicating Within a Marriage?

Why is it that men and women have a hard time communicating within a marriage? He're just not communicating", which then leads to: "Can our marriage be salvaged?" It is amazing that a relationship could be torn apart simply as a result of not being able to effectively talk to one another. Husbands and wives either misread, misinterpret, or misunderstand entirely what each other are saying. As a result, small issues can escalate into large misunderstandings, often leading to hostility, anger, and blame.

Often couples really think that they are communicating, but unfortunately the message isn't getting through to the other person. The fact is that if husbands and wives can pinpoint why they are having trouble to begin with, they can greatly enahance their communication skills.

Many times, communication problems come about from differences in conversational styles between men and women. Interestingly enough, these styles can be traced right back to the playground, where little girls place a premium on talking and sharing secrets in order to make friends and be close to each other, and while little boys rely on displays of athletic prowess.

From early on in life, girls are taught the intricacies of intimate relationships. Studies have shown that when women grow up, they still put a premium on talking and sharing. In a marriage, wives tend to be the emotional caretakers of the marriage as they are more in tune to their own feelings as well as the subtle changes of their relationship. They notice and bring up issues with the relationship a lot more then men do.

These studies have also documented that most women yearn for their husbands to be a sounding board or to lend a sympathetic ear whenever they have a problem. They just want someone to be there for them, preferably their partners. Men on the other hand, want action. Almost every time a problem is brought up, men will interrupt a wife's recitation of that problem and jump right into a quick-fix solution. In addition, once a man offers a solution, he expects it to be "case closed, end of the problem".

You can see, that men and women have totally different styles of communication, almost to the extreme. Given such different styles of communication, it's common to hear married women complain that: "My husband doesn't care, he doesn't love me, he doesn't listen…" Husbands on the other hand feel that: "After a while I have to tune my wife out because she makes everything into a problem so we are arguing more.

Most spouses love each other and learning communications skills early in the relationship will enhance it forever.